CIGARETTE BUTTS AND SENSELESS TANGENTIALITIES

Mr. A. He has the looks of a God. The way his eyes smile, the way his thin red lips touch each other will surely captivate anyone who sees him. He's gay, but not for a known fact. He stands 5'8, the body is as masculine as a man should be. The curves of his chest and torso would traumatize every single spincter you have in your body. His thin Scandinavian skin is downy soft and smooth. His eyes were bluish grey and they do most of the talking. A perfect form of a masculine, handsome being almost close to God's perfect sculpture. His presence is picturesque and his deep manly voice is but music to my ears. And above all these traits, this man says he's interested in me...

Mr. B is Mr. conversationalist. If I would define sense, he would be it. Tactful, witty, friendly, intelligent and funny. He can definitely engage you in an interesting chat for hours without both of you getting bored. His wide experience in everything is a delight for me! He had plans in his life and that includes his future partner in it. Politics, Science, Entertainment, Art, History, Current Events, and the list goes on, you can talk with him on anything that may interest you and prepare to be mesmerized by his thoughts. He's also a good listener, active one. He's definitely a catch, more so that as a Latino, he's interested in Asians, particularly me...

Mr. C shines even if the sun is turned off. Though his wealth is incomparable, he's also incomparably humble. He drives a mercedez, has a rolex, wears Salvatore Ferragamo and smells ohhhh.... Clive Christian...  Though he is a wealthy man of Mediterranean descent,  he's not arrogant, he's just so rich he can't hide it. He wants to drive me to and from work, offers me an own pad, and food, oh it rains! He's so thoughtful also. Yes he said it himself... all he thinks about is me....

When Mr. C proposed that I move to a flat he offers me, I declined. When he asked for my heart, I said no. "You're a good man, but I can't be good enough for you. Besides, you don't have all the things I want for a partner. Yes, you can buy me all the riches in the world, but somehow, you can't buy my heart...."

After Mr. B learned about this incident, he asked me out for a cup of coffee. As expected, I enjoyed our conversation. He's really a funny and sensible man. And then all of a sudden, he was serious. He asked me to be with him. I said no at once. I simply couldn't. "You see, your words are powerful and your thoughts are so sensible. I could last a day talking to you and feeling good about it. But that's it. Your a man of worth, a man of sense, a man of strong words, but not strong enough to sustain the beating of my heart. Yes we can talk all day long... but maybe just as friends and nothing more than that..."

This left me with Mr. A.

The way Mr. A stared at me melted me from the inside. Who wouldn't be, if this face stares at you as if you're the center of everything. He said he loves me, and would be so glad to have me as his partner. I can be the most proud partner in the world, i said to myself, knowing that I can brag him to everyone. I replied with a big No. "You really are handsome and kind, and I adore you for that. You have the physique I could only dream for.  If I'm only for the tangible aspect, then yes we could be together. But the last time I checked, I'm not that type of person. I really hope we can remain friends..."

I didn't go with any of these proposals not because I'm choosy or a diva. I'm committed to my partner, and that, I think, is a sufficient reason. Why would I settle for the looks, or the mind, or the wealth? These are not the individualities I'm yearning for. Why would I settle for one of these guys, when I have a partner better than all their traits combined. The heart cannot be directed nor can it be controlled, and I feel that my heart has a mind of its own. It beats to whom it likes to beat... It'll love the person it wants to love. And I am eternally grateful to have found that person to share my life with. Not a millionaire, not a superstar, not an einstein, but just a perfect blend of everything... A perfect blend for my heart!